A friend of mine had bought a new set of Cards about the goddesses. I remember how I took them in my hand, it was somewhat in the mid or late 90’s. I had developed an increased sense of energie, not knowing that I did. I disliked the cards as the other side was in blackish, and found that not appropriate in terms of the goddess. On the other hand, I had a bit of a caution for everyone claiming having something to do with the goddess, as their energy was somehow funny to me.
Yet I shuffled the deck to pull one, and held in my hand a card named “Lilith”.
I read the ritual that had to do with Lilith, a ritual to set free of bindings. So one would wear a bondage for a while around wrist or ankle, and then remove it at full moon or new moon in order to set free action and movement.
I did so.
And wow, what a journey started.
About half a decade later I sat in a Seminar having to do with Aura-Soma and the kabbalah. I waited for the part to start, when in the break before we started I found myself menstruating. I did not like the idea getting in contact with the jewish mysticism when menstruating, me, a white catholic woman. I went back inside he seminarroom, telling I was menstruating and not knowing what to do. It turned out, that ALL women were menstruating. Two of us got their mensturation on the same day, one other had it regularly, another one had it out of cycle but on that day also.
I accepted, that this was a higher power at work. And sat there, when the teachers started to talk about the tree of life. They talked about the garden of Eden, Adam, Eve, the casting off… The map given to the Jews in order to find back, the story finished. No word of Lilith.
I could not believe that and insisted. Noone had a remark on her in their textbooks. And I was outraged. I knew Aura-Soma as inclusive, so not excluding something and someone.
I went back home, to write to Mike Booth, the founder of the Aura-Soma teaching lineage, and asked him on Lilith, and got his remark back, that sometimes the question is more important than the answer. But the only remark he could give me, was, that she was taken away from Adam as the gods were jealous about their love.
My real story with Lilith started on that day. Even though I had already heard of her in Astrology, I did not research it.
Yet now i did. For serveral years i studied Jewsh Mysticism that was available in German, astrology texts, apokryphic texts as well as scripture. And I decided to write my Level 4 work in Aura-Soma about her. A journey started, that now, 11 years later, still is not finished, including Aura-Soma reteacher just refusing to read and mark the work as a reseach work.
During that painstaking process and journey, in which I was challenged on all sorts of level including black magic, I travelled to America to do a sound healing seminar. I was on my journey of finding a method of healing for what happenned to me, but also to close that chapter on Lilith, to walk an other path, and maybe to write also an other Level 4 work, that would then be accepted.
At that time, i had a shop in Wiesbaden. When arriving back in my shop after about 2 weeks Absence in America, I opened the door and saw that something had fallen out of the bookshelf. A set of Cards…. All cards were on the floor, but upside down, yet one card was visible.
Lilith looked at me.
It was that set of cards that my friend had bought more than a decade ago, I had ordered it to display and sell it in my shop, and now, with noone entering the shop during my absence, this card looked at me, as the only visible.
I remember how I stood there, looking at that card. And all the intentions fell off…
My journey was not finished.